The Myth of ‘Having It All’: What Thriving Really Looks Like for Working Moms

For years, working moms have been told we can “have it all.” The career, the happy kids, the clean house, the thriving marriage, the workouts, the social life—the list goes on.

But let’s be real. That phrase often feels less like empowerment and more like pressure. It sets up an impossible standard where success means excelling in every area at all times. No wonder so many of us feel stretched thin, burned out, or like we’re constantly falling short.

The truth? Having it all is a myth. Thriving as a working mom doesn’t mean juggling everything perfectly—it means defining balance and success on your own terms, and making that a lifestyle, not just a goal.

Why “Having It All” Doesn’t Work

1. It sets unrealistic expectations. Life happens. Kids get sick. Work deadlines pile up. Laundry doesn’t magically fold itself. The idea of “having it all” ignores the messy, unpredictable reality of motherhood.

2. It fuels comparison. Social media loves to highlight the mom who’s crushing it at work, packing Pinterest-perfect lunches, and running marathons on the weekends. What you don’t see is the support system, the struggles, or the sacrifices behind the scenes.

3. It leaves no room for YOU. When “all” is defined as career + kids + house + relationships, there’s no space for your own passions, rest, or growth. And without that, you can’t truly thrive.

   
   

A Personal Story: When “Having It All” Felt Like Nothing

I finally reached a point in my career where I’m exactly where I want to be professionally—leading teams and projects. But somehow, all of the responsibilities—from being a mom, a wife, a friend, and a professional—felt less like fulfillment and more like chores. Days were full, but not in the good way.

I never thought it would feel this way. I assumed reaching my career goals would make life feel complete. Instead, I found myself running from task to task, constantly exhausted, and questioning if I was enjoying any of it.

It wasn’t until I began redefining what thriving really meant for me—creating a life where joy, presence, and intention guided my days—that I started to feel full again. I realized thriving isn’t about checking off boxes on someone else’s standard of “all”; it’s about making a lifestyle choice that prioritizes fulfillment, balance, and meaning in every area of life.

What Thriving Really Looks Like

Thriving isn’t about doing it all. It’s about doing what matters most to you in this season of life—and letting go of the rest.

For some moms, thriving means building a career they love while hiring help for the house. For others, it’s scaling back at work for a season to focus on family. For another, it might mean prioritizing fitness or a creative outlet because it fuels her happiness.

Thriving is deeply personal, and it evolves as life changes. Most importantly, it’s a lifestyle—not a momentary fix or a goal to check off.

A Mindset Reset: Redefining Success

Here are a few shifts that help busy moms move from surviving to thriving as a lifestyle:

• Trade perfection for presence. Your kids don’t need a perfect mom. They need a present, loving mom.

• Define your own “enough.” Instead of asking, “Am I doing it all?” ask, “Am I doing what matters most to my family and me right now?”

• Embrace seasons. There will be times when work demands more of you, and times when family does. Balance doesn’t always mean equal—it means appropriate for the season you’re in.

• Let go of guilt. Taking care of yourself—whether that’s rest, exercise, or pursuing a dream—makes you a better mom, not a selfish one.

  
  

Practical Ways to Make Thriving a Lifestyle

• Simplify your routines: Batch meals, delegate chores, automate where you can.

• Protect your time: Schedule non-negotiable self-care like you would a meeting.

• Ask for help: Build a support system—whether it’s your partner, friends, or other moms.

• Celebrate small wins: Thriving isn’t always big milestones; sometimes it’s just enjoying an uninterrupted cup of coffee or a bedtime giggle.

• Keep checking in with yourself: A lifestyle of thriving means tuning in to what feels meaningful and adjusting as life evolves.

  
  

The Takeaway

The myth of “having it all” tells us we’re not enough unless we’re doing everything, all the time. But thriving as a working mom isn’t about meeting someone else’s standard—it’s about creating a lifestyle that feels good to live, right now.

Your version of thriving is valid, even if it doesn’t look like anyone else’s. And when you embrace that? That’s when you stop chasing “all” and start living fully.

✨ Your Turn: What does thriving as a lifestyle look like for you in this season of motherhood ? Share in the comments—I’d love to hear how you’re redefining balance on your terms.

~ Carrie