As a mom, a full-time career woman, and someone who prioritizes fitness, I’ve always prided myself on how well I managed stress. After all, I never showed the typical signs—no hypertension, no overeating, and no late-night stress-induced snacking (well, maybe just sometimes, LOL). I thought I had it all under control. But recently, something shifted. It wasn’t until I had a moment of clarity—an honest conversation with myself—that I realized I’ve been internalizing stress in ways I hadn’t fully acknowledged before.
The Hidden Stress That Sneaks Up on You
A few weeks ago, I had an eye-opening moment with my family. We were all hanging out at home, and I felt incredibly disconnected. My mind was constantly racing. Every time I tried to be present with my kids or talk to my spouse, my thoughts would drift back to my never-ending to-do list, work emails, and projects that needed finishing. Physically, I wasn’t showing signs of stress—no headaches or digestive issues—but mentally, I felt like a space cadet, completely lost in thought.
Then, my kids asked me, “Mom, what do you actually do at work?” That question hit me hard. I realized I’m many things to many people every day. By the time I get home, there’s nothing left for my family. I’m a coach, an influencer, an educator, a disciplinarian, a therapist, a cheerleader, and even a firefighter (not literally). The constant juggling act of being everything for everyone leaves me drained and emotionally unavailable by the end of the day.
The Mental Load of Doing It All
So why do we do this? Why do we feel the need to be perfect in every role—at work and at home? For me, it stems from the expectations to excel in my career, be a supportive mom, and maintain my fitness routine while managing the mental load of being everything to everyone.
It’s not just about physical exhaustion. There’s a significant mental and emotional toll that comes with the constant need to perform and be “on.” You may think you’re managing stress, especially when it doesn’t manifest physically. But stress often appears in invisible ways, like in our thoughts, emotions, and relationships.
The Impact on My Family
What I hadn’t fully processed until recently was the impact my stress had on my family. Being present physically but checked out mentally meant I couldn’t connect with my kids or fully engage with my spouse. I was missing out on those small moments that matter. My brain was always racing ahead, solving problems and anticipating the next task.
When I realized I had nothing left to give at the end of the day, guilt washed over me. I was juggling the responsibilities of work, home, and self-care—and honestly, it was exhausting.
Acknowledging the Importance of Reflection
Taking time to reflect on the impact of stress is crucial. It helps to shine a light on areas where we need improvement. I needed to recognize that self-care is not selfish; it’s necessary for my family and me.
How to Combat Stress When You’re Everything to Everyone
It’s easy to fall into the cycle of overwork and trying to be everything for everyone. But here’s the truth: you can’t pour from an empty cup. If you don’t make time to refuel and address your stress, it will eventually catch up to you, as it did to me.
So what’s the solution? Here are a few strategies that have helped me manage my stress better and reconnect with my family:
Set Boundaries:
I realized one of my biggest mistakes was failing to set boundaries, both at work and with my family. I’m learning to say “no” more often, and that’s perfectly fine. I’m making it clear when I need time for myself. I create space to prioritize my mental health without guilt.
Practice Mindfulness:
Being present with my family is now a top priority. I’ve started taking a few moments each day to pause, breathe, and reconnect with my surroundings. Whether it’s through meditation or just taking deep breaths, mindfulness helps me stay in the moment.
Delegate When Possible:
I’ve stopped believing I need to do everything by myself. At work, I delegate tasks to others. At home, I involve my kids in responsibilities, like setting the table or putting away laundry. The burden doesn’t have to fall on just me.
Create "Me Time":
Fitness has always been important, but I’ve realized it’s about mental clarity, too. Whether it’s a morning workout, an evening stroll, or a solo trip to the gym, carving out time for myself is essential for stress relief.
Ask for Help:
One of the hardest admissions for me was that I can’t do it all alone. I’ve started leaning more on my support system. It’s okay to ask for help, and often necessary for maintaining balance.
The Bottom Line
Stress is sneaky. It doesn’t always show up in obvious ways. We might think we’re handling it until it surprises us. As a career woman, mom, and fitness enthusiast, I’ve learned the hard way that I need to make time for self-care, set boundaries, and be present. I can’t give all of myself to work and others while leaving nothing for myself or my family.
You have the right to rest, take care of your mental health, and seek help. Managing stress isn’t about avoiding it; it’s about recognizing it and responding healthily. We’re all doing the best we can. Sometimes, the best thing we can do is take a step back, breathe, and prioritize our well-being.
If you’re experiencing something similar, know that you're not alone. It’s a journey, but we can go through it together.
How do you manage stress as a mom, career woman, and fitness enthusiast? What has helped you find balance? Let me know in the comments below!
~Carrie
