Coaching My Kids: Lessons on Teamwork, Leadership, and Finding Balance (And How I Survived It)

Coaching kids’ basketball is like mixing a protein shake—there’s a little bit of everything, and if you don’t get the proportions right, it can get messy. But in the end, the lessons are worth it, even if there’s a few spilled smoothies along the way.

This basketball season, I stepped into the role of coaching my kids’ team, and while I thought I’d be teaching them how to dribble and score, I ended up learning a lot about teamwork, leadership, and how to keep my sanity intact during the chaos. Oh, and how to perfect my own shooting form while avoiding the constant “I can’t find my shoes!” crisis.

Let me walk you through some of the things I learned, and how they relate to not just parenting, but fitness and self-care too. (Spoiler alert: there’s a lot more to fitness than just doing squats. Trust me.)

1. Teamwork Makes the Dream Work (Even When You’re the One Holding Up the Snack Table)

Let’s talk about teamwork. I mean, in theory, it sounds easy. But when you’re coaching kids who are more focused on their sneakers than the game, suddenly you realize that teamwork is way more complex than it sounds.

As a coach, I had to learn quickly that it’s not just about telling them to “pass the ball.” It’s about teaching them to trust each other, to communicate (without yelling “I’m open!” every five seconds), and to work together toward a common goal.

The Fitness Lesson:

This was a big reminder that fitness isn’t a solo activity either. Whether it’s running, weightlifting, or yoga, having a support system or a workout buddy can really help keep you motivated. Just like my team needed a point guard to set things up, we need a good workout buddy to keep us in check. Find that teammate who cheers you on when you’re struggling with push-ups or encourages you to get through that last mile. Teamwork is essential, even in fitness.

2. Leadership Isn’t Just About Calling the Shots—It’s About Leading by Example

Here’s the thing: coaching kids isn’t just about telling them what to do. It’s about showing them how to do it. And let me tell you, it was a serious ego check when I had to demonstrate how to properly execute a layup in front of a group of 11-year-olds who clearly had no fear of humiliation.

But the most valuable thing I learned is that leadership isn’t about barking orders from the sideline; it’s about being a role model. I had to be willing to dive into drills, make mistakes, laugh at myself (oh, there were plenty of mistakes), and encourage the kids to do the same.

The Fitness Lesson:

This lesson directly translates to our fitness journey. How many times have we felt defeated during a workout or skipped one because we didn’t want to “fail”? The truth is, leadership in fitness comes from leading by example. If you want to feel motivated to work out, you need to show up for yourself—whether that’s by setting a consistent routine, trying new exercises, or being kind to yourself when you can’t lift as much as you’d like. You’re the coach of your own fitness journey, and it’s time to lead with confidence (and maybe a few goofy dance moves in between sets).

3. Patience is a Virtue—Especially When You’re Trying to Teach a Kid How to Dribble (and Not Eat Their Snack Mid-Practice)

I don’t know about you, but I can be a little impatient at times. Maybe it’s the need for quick results or my desire to move on to the next thing. But coaching kids requires the kind of patience that will have you questioning your own sense of calm.

I can’t tell you how many times I had to gently remind my players that dribbling is important—and that their snack break will come later. Getting through the basic skills took time, effort, and, honestly, more than a few deep breaths.

The Fitness Lesson:

Fitness isn’t a race. The transformation doesn’t happen overnight. Just like my basketball team, we need time to develop the habits, strength, and endurance we want. And sometimes, we need to remind ourselves that it’s okay if we can’t do 50 push-ups today. What matters is that we keep showing up. So, whether you’re trying to run a faster mile or hold a plank longer, remember: it’s all about consistent effort. Progress takes time. But it will happen.

4. Balance Isn’t Just About Finding the Right Play—It’s About Finding Time for Yourself (and Not Losing Your Mind)

I’ll be honest: during the season, there were moments when I felt like I was juggling more balls than the kids at halftime. There were practices, games, schoolwork, and, oh yeah, my own fitness goals. By the end of the week, I was ready to call it quits—except I couldn’t.

What helped me survive was finding balance. I had to prioritize my time, ask for help when I needed it, and give myself grace when I didn’t quite nail everything I planned. Oh, and I made sure to sneak in a workout when I could—whether it was a quick jog, a 20-minute HIIT session, or just taking part in the warmups during practice.

The Fitness Lesson:

Balance is key, in both life and fitness. You don’t have to be perfect every day. The important thing is showing up for yourself. As a mom, coach, career professional, I know how tough it is to juggle everything. But there’s always room to prioritize your own health, even if it’s just for a few minutes each day. Find those little moments and use them to recharge. Whether it’s stretching, a 5-minute meditation, or a quick circuit workout, it all counts.

5. Laughing at Yourself Is the Secret to Staying Sane

Let’s get real for a second: If you don’t laugh at yourself, you’ll probably cry. I’m not sure who was more entertained—me or the kids—when I tripped over my own feet trying to demonstrate a crossover dribble. But in that moment, I realized that the best thing I could do was laugh, shake it off, and keep going.

And if there’s one thing I want to teach my kids, it’s the value of not taking yourself too seriously. Fitness can be tough. Parenting can be tough. Life can be tough. But if you can find the humor in it, you’ll get through it much easier.

Final Thoughts:

Coaching my kids’ basketball team taught me more than I ever expected. It was a season full of learning, laughter, and some seriously intense snack-time debates. But what really stuck with me was the power of teamwork, leadership, patience, and balance. And yes, the importance of finding time to laugh at yourself.

So, if you’re balancing family, fitness, and everything else life throws your way, remember this: You’ve got this. Whether you’re coaching a team or just trying to squeeze in a workout between school runs, you’re the captain of your own ship. Lead with humor, patience, and a little bit of grace—and don’t forget the snacks.

Now, tell me: What’s the funniest thing that’s happened to you during a workout or a family activity? Drop a comment below and share the love (and laughs).

~Carrie